He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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