evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
