Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
