Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
