There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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