i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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