So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
