Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
