MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize