please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
