i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
