I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
