You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
