I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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