Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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