I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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