So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
