HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
