Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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