If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
try to milk me bitch
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