when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm going to jail i love you
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
PANTIES FOUND
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