you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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