you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
