One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
