Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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