And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
