so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
