just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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