I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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