Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
