tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
how drunk are you?
Several
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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