My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
