mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Im part way to drunk.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
