at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
