Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
