i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
