Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
