Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize