what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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