New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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