I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
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my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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