He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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