We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
