There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
