Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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