Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
