why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
