ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
