??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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