Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize