She's JV to your varsity
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize
