You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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