soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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