puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
