yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
