go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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