Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you had me at cake vodka
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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