it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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