Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
honey bunches of taint.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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