Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
