What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
