why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
