If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
