but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
