How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
