all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
