Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
