so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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