we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize