I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I believe in your delicious
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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