No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
