Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
