it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
