dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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