Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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