Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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